Cabaret Posts

Sexual innuendo, raunchy jokes, exuberant drag and girls dressed as boys in thigh-length boots; it doesn’t sound much like a kids’ show I know, but welcome to the world of pantomime! What is a pantomime? Pantomimes, or pantos for short, can trace their roots back to the sixteenth century and Italy’s Commedia dell’Arte, featuring the mischievous character of Harlequin. By the early eighteenth century these shows of music, slapstick comedy and acrobatics were so popular that in 1732 Harlequin actor John Rich used his panto profits to build Covent Garden Theatre. The Theatres Act of 1843 permitted the use of dialogue in all plays, which led to the introduction of the jokes, puns and cheeky word play so integral to pantos today. By the end of the nineteenth century, extravagant costumes became a key part of the shows which usually opened on Boxing Day, hence the link with Christmas. Traditionally a woman plays the role of Principal Boy and a man plays the Dame. The Principal Boy usually wears a short, belted tunic and thigh-length boots, allowing for much thigh-slapping to take place, whilst the dame gets the most gaudy, glittery, over-the-top costume of the night. If you were playing panto-casting bingo, you’d be hoping for a burly retired boxer or rugby player for the dame, a glamorous soap opera/reality TV star for the principal boy, a comedian or magician for the sidekick and a singer (ideally a veteran diva or ex-boy band member) for any other role. In stark contrast to most other theatre, audience participation is actively encouraged in the world of panto. This will be led and prompted by the cast, within traditional rules: Booing and hissing of baddies (don’t worry, you’ll know who the baddies are!) Warning the goodies when a baddie is around, or they are searching for something; spoiler alert, the warning is ‘It’s behind you!’ Sympathising with goodies; a long ‘Aaaaaaaahh’ if you feel sorry for them Disagreeing with baddies; they will say ‘Oh yes it is!’ to which the audience shouts ‘Oh no it isn’t!’ (or the other way round) If you go to the very last performance of a pantomime, it may not seem to run quite as smoothly as you might expect. This is traditionally when the cast and crew prank each other during the performance, leaving the actor to style it out live on stage. London Pantos for 2024/5 Jack and the Beanstalk at the New Wimbledon Theatre, Wimbledon The majestic Edwardian auditorium of the New Wimbledon Theatre is a perfect backdrop to this classic, much-loved panto. A starry cast includes Alexandra Burke as the wicked Mrs. Blunderbore, comedy legend Joe Pasquale as Jack's brother and West End star Ria Jones as the Spirit of the Beans. Dates: 7 December 2024-5 Jan 2025 Best for: Those south of the river who want to go to a proper panto without trekking in to central London Tickets from Book here The Little Mermaid, Wandsworth This modern reimagining of Hans Christian Andersen’s beloved tale promises an adventure for audiences of all ages, which you can dive into at the Wandsworth Civic Suite this festive season. Along the way, you’ll meet an unforgettable cast of characters, including the hilarious Dame Choom Bouquet, the wicked sea witch Hydra, the comedic duo Flip and Flop, and the dashing yet clueless Handsome Prince. Dates: 14-22 December 2024 Best for: Those looking for a great value family panto Tickets from Book here Robin Hood at the London Palladium, Soho The OG of London panto venues, expect extravagant sets, lavish costumes and every beloved panto trope you could hope for. With Julian Clary cast as Robin Hood, alongside Jane McDonald as Maid Marion and Nigel Havers as Friar Tuck, we’re expecting the classic panto innuendo and double-entendre game to be particularly strong. Dates: 7 December 2024-12 Jan 2025 Best for: A star-studded cast, and the ultimate panto experience Tickets from Book here Cheapo Top Tip: You don't have to borrow your mate's kids as an excuse; book a single seat and get 25% off the ticket price. Dick Whittington and his Cat at the Hackney Empire, Hackney Hackney Empire pantos are more of a good clean fun, community affair; this is reflected in the fact that children of all ages are welcome, with children aged 3 and under sitting on an adult’s lap getting in free of charge. Panto veteran Clive Rowe both directs and stars as Sarah the Cook, with Kandaka Moore as Dick Whittington and Kat B as the cat. Dates: 23 November 2024-5 Jan 2025 Best for: Those with a young family, and a chance to see the best Dame in pantoland Tickets from Book here Pinocchio at the Theatre Royal Stratford East, Stratford Will the Blue Rinse Fairy and Krik Krak the cricket be able to keep Pinocchio off the crooked path, as he battles the trials and tribulations of becoming a “real boy”? Another lovely local panto suitable for all ages, this year it features Dylan Collymore as Pinocchio, Tok Morakinyo as his father Gepetto, Nicole Louise-Lewis as Krik Krak and Michael Bertenshaw in glorious panto dame mode as the Blue Rinse Fairy. Running time is approximately 2 hours, plus an interval. This is one of the most popular pantomimes outside of central London and well worth the trip; if you’re an east London local, lucky you. Dates: 23 Nov 2024-4 Jan 2025 Best for: Those with a young family, and panto-loving east Londoners who don’t fancy the West End Tickets from Book here Napoleon: Un Petit Pantomime at the Jermyn Street Theatre, West End Charles Court Opera traditionally offer ‘boutique pantos’ with a more classic literary or historical inspiration than the usual fairy tale; this year’s co-production with the Jermyn Street Theatre is based on Napoleon vs Wellington. As they say on the website, it's time to Bona-party! Dates: 21 Nov 2024-5 Jan 2025 Best for: Eccentric intellectual fun Tickets from Book here Cheapo Top Tip: Every day 10 tickets for are available for under 30s or those in receipt of Universal Credit, only bookable from 12 noon on the day of performance by calling the box office on 020 7287 2875. If pantos are not your thing, you can get your Christmas vibes from some outdoor ice skating, winter markets or a walking tour of London's Christmas lights - or check out these other festive classics. Other Christmas Shows The Snowman at the Peacock Theatre, West End Back for its 27th year with Sadler’s Wells in the West End, journey to the North Pole with Raymond Briggs’s famous snowman for an evening of magic, dance and storytelling. It also features a live orchestra and one of the most famous songs ever. All together now: ‘We’re walking in the air . . . ‘ Dates: 23 Nov 2024-4 Jan 2025 Best for: Getting into the festive spirit Tickets from Book here A Christmas Carol at The Old Vic, Waterloo John Simm (Life on Mars, Grace) stars as Scrooge in Jack Thorne’s adaptation of Dickens’s classic Christmas tale. This fabulous immersive staging is suitable for children aged 8 and over; it’s a lovely way to get those festive feels – and The Old Vic will be raising money for charity throughout the run. Dates: 9 Nov 2024-4 Jan 2025 Best for: Celebrating a much-loved literary classic Tickets from Book here Cheapo Top Tip: If you live in Lambeth or Southwark, you are eligible for local discounts: check out the details here. The Nutcracker at the London Coliseum, Covent Garden Nothing says it’s nearly Christmas like the English National Ballet’s production of this festive favourite (except maybe that half-opened advent calendar with the dodgy chocolate Santas). Adventures and romance abound, along with gorgeous scenery and costumes that whisk you into a magical world. Dates: 12 Dec 2024-12 Jan 2025 Best for: Ethereal Christmas entertainment Tickets from Book here Asi Wind - Incredibly Human at Underbelly Boulevard, Soho For a performance of close-up magic that you'll never forget, treat yourself to this dazzling 80-minute show from the man The New York Times called “one of the great magicians of our time”. Entertainment of the highest order. (Please note show this designed for adults, contains some mild adult language and parental guidance is advised; recommended for 12+. Children under 10 will not be admitted.) Dates: 26 Sept 2024-5 Jan 2025 Best for: Believing in magic again Tickets from Book here Shows for the Grown-Ups La Clique at the Leicester Square Spiegeltent, Leicester Square One for Cheapos who are 16+, Olivier-Award-winning La Clique is a mixture of flirtatious cabaret, comedy and circus. Expect acrobats, contortionists, aerial artists, a foot-juggling clown – and that’s before the full cast list has been released. La Clique Lates (9.30pm) run for about 70 minutes with no interval; earlier shows run for around 90 minutes including an interval. Shows contain nudity, coarse language and adult content. Dates: 6 Nov 2024-5 Jan 2025 Best for: Marvelling at the capabilities of the human body Tickets from Book here These next two come with a Parental Advisory sticker: 'contains filthy festive fun'. Jack and the Beanstalk: What a Whopper!, Charing Cross Theatre Jack Trott's dreams look like coming true as he wakes up to something that just keeps growing. With the irrepressible Matthew Baldwin back for 2024 to play Dame Trott. Dates: 23 Nov 2024-11 Jan 2025 Best for: Adults only Tickets from Book here A Very Naughty Christmas, Southwark Playhouse Christmas cabaret, stand-up comedy, burlesque and naughty musical theatre all rolled into one, A Very Naughty Christmas is Australia’s most successful Christmas musical show and is coming to London for the very first time. Ideal for fans of Magic Mike, La Clique and The Play That Goes Wrong, A Very Naughty Christmas is a spectacular, sexy, silly, naughty and hilarious take on Christmas, and strictly for over-18s only. Dates: 28 Nov 2024-11 Jan 2025 Best for: Adults only Tickets from Book here While we do our best to ensure it is correct, information is subject to change. This article was originally published in November 2017. Last updated on 5th November 2024.

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